Early Life

When Bob Wobbleton was young, he lived a mostly normal life in Dizzyville, Ohio—until one very important day. He climbed up onto a very wobbly chair that was clearly not meant to be stood on. As he balanced there, he slipped, fell straight onto the floor, and hit his head.

In that exact moment—labeled in his personal journal as “13232525256326BC” for no clear reason—Bob Wobbleton suddenly saw God. He claimed the room glowed, the ceiling disappeared, and everything went quiet except for a powerful, booming voice. From that day forward, Bob Wobbleton was never quite the same.

Later Years

As an adult, Bob Wobbleton became a newspaper writer. Every week, he wrote columns reminding people that he had seen God and that they should “stand carefully, sit properly, and be on their best behavior.” His articles often had dramatic titles like “The Chair That Changed Everything” and “Why Wobbling Is Dangerous to Your Soul.”

Between writing, Bob continued to tell anyone who would listen about his experience. Some believed him, some laughed, and some politely backed away. He still insists that he can feel “the presence” whenever he hears a chair wobble.

Contributions

Bob Wobbleton’s biggest contribution to the world was telling everyone that he had seen God and then writing about it publicly. His newspaper articles made people think more carefully about their choices, their chairs, and their behavior. Many readers say his columns made them sit up straighter—literally and spiritually.

Fun Facts

• Bob Wobbleton is terrified of chairs.

• He refuses to stand on anything higher than the ground.

• He sometimes looks at the ceiling and nods slowly.

• He claims the chair was “looking at him first.”

• He still insists: “I saw GOD.”