Introduction

Inchy the Inchworm was born on December 3, 2001, and grew up in Los Angeles, California, where traffic is fast—and somehow, he is faster. He looks exactly like a literal inchworm, except with an attitude, a lead foot, and several unpaid tickets. Inchy is famous for being the fastest inchworm alive, a title that shocked scientists, police departments, and driving instructors everywhere.

Early Life

As a young worm, Inchy attended Inch School, where most inchworms practiced slow, careful inching. Inchy, however, zoomed down the halls like a speeding car, constantly getting told to “slow down!” He became the only inchworm ever accepted into driving school, immediately breaking speed records and several cones. Even as a child, police helicopters reportedly followed him… very slowly.

Later Years

Inchy eventually got married to the slowest worm alive, though according to his wife, they have never actually spoken because Inchy is always busy getting tickets. His adult life mainly consists of being pulled over, running from the police (successfully), and collecting traffic violations. Despite constant trouble with law enforcement, Inchy insists he is “just inching efficiently.”

Contributions

Inchy has made major contributions to the world of speed and confusion. He taught people how to drive fast (sometimes too fast), and he helped design a Ferrari special edition for small insects, though most insects can’t reach the pedals. He also holds the world record for most police tickets in one day, with an unbelievable 300 tickets in 24 hours.

Fun Facts

The name Inchy means “I am an inch long.”
He has never spoken to his wife (according to her).
Police radar guns explode when he goes by (unconfirmed).
He believes speed limits are “just suggestions.”
His ticket collection is larger than his entire body.

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