Introduction

Dr. Glenda P. Snizzlebaum is the world’s leading (and only) expert on sneeze dynamics—the study of how sneezes travel, sound, and impact society. She gained international fame for her 1,200-page thesis titled “Ah-Choo: The Untold Symphony of the Human Sneeze.” Her groundbreaking discovery that some sneezes can startle birds from over 40 feet away earned her a grant from the “Unusual Sciences Federation.”

Early Life

Glenda was born on October 9, 1973, in Dribble Glen, South Dakota. She first became fascinated with sneezing after a classmate’s dramatic allergy fit knocked over three science fair projects. As a child, she kept a “sneeze diary” and once built a sneeze-powered windmill out of Popsicle sticks and duct tape.

Later Years

Dr. Snizzlebaum currently teaches “Sneeze Studies 101” at the University of Impractical Research and is working on her next big project: mapping the sneeze styles of domestic house cats. She also runs an annual global event called “SneezeCon,” which includes seminars like “Mucus & Meaning” and “The History of the Achoo.” Her lab recently installed a “sneeze simulator” which lets participants sneeze in twelve different languages.

Contributions

Her research has been used to design better tissues, soundproofing for libraries, and a sneeze-detecting phone app. She’s been praised for bringing attention to the underappreciated power of nasal explosions. Her work is considered both absurd and astonishingly thorough.

Fun Facts

She can identify the breed of a dog by the sound of its sneeze.
She once sneezed so hard, she erased part of a whiteboard… two rooms away.
Her business cards are made of tissues.

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