Early Life

Nobody knows exactly when Fire BigMac was born—records are fuzzy, and buns tend to burn easily. What is known is that he grew up in Big Mac Town, a quiet little place in the corner of the condiment map, where ketchup flows like rivers and napkins grow on trees. He lived a simple life as a triple-layered burger until he got curious.

Later Years

Everything changed when Fire BigMac took a vacation to the legendary Blazehound Mountain to get a glimpse of the mythical flaming dogs that roam there. Unfortunately, one bark from a Blazehound was enough to ignite his lettuce, and now he’s been on fire ever since. He tried putting himself out in a milkshake, but it only made him taste better. These days, he owns and operates a restaurant called Fire King, where everything on the menu comes slightly charred and wildly overcooked. He greets customers with a big, flaming thumbs-up.

Contributions

Fire BigMac has changed the way people view fast food forever. He pioneered the “Flame-Aged” burger method, which basically means letting him hug your order before serving it. He also launched a cooking show called “Too Hot to Handle: Burger Edition”, though the studio burned down after episode 2. His restaurant, Fire King, is now a popular tourist stop for people who enjoy risk with their meal.

Fun Facts

• He can’t wear pants anymore because they keep bursting into flames.

• His favorite phrase is “I’m not burnt, I’m bold.”

• He is legally banned from all water parks (he turned the lazy river at Six Flags New England into a hot tub in 2024).

• His high-fives leave scorch marks, but people still ask for them.

• NASA once mistook him for a re-entering satellite.