Early Life

In his early life, Apples McBite spent all his time inside a bag from the store in the fridge. One day, a kid named Luke opened the fridge to get a snack and noticed something strange. Apples McBite turned slightly toward him, fogged up the plastic bag like he was breathing, and left a tiny apple-sized handprint on the inside of the bag. Luke also swore he heard Apples whisper, “close the door, it’s cold.”

Convinced Apples McBite was alive, Luke carried the bag around for a week, showing everyone that Apples could lean toward voices, roll slightly when spoken to, and make tiny crunching noises that sounded suspiciously like words.

Later Years

Luke refused to give up. He went to city hall, school, and even a local news station, demanding that Apples McBite be treated like a real person. After months of arguing, demonstrating Apples’s “person-like behavior,” and presenting scientific-sounding (but very silly) evidence, Luke successfully fought to get Apples McBite an official birth certificate.

During this time, Apples McBite made many television appearances, mostly on news segments documenting Luke's fight for Apples’s human rights. Reporters filmed him sitting quietly in his bag while experts debated whether an apple could legally be a person.

Even after all of this, Apples McBite still lives in the same bag from the store in the fridge, because he prefers it there.