Habitat

The Perpigdog can be found in some of the strangest and most fictional places on Earth (and possibly beyond). It lives in Spiky Town, a prickly forest region where everything—including the couches—is pointy. It also resides in Pickle Land, where the air always smells slightly sour and the lakes are suspiciously green. Another known habitat is Cat City, a bustling feline metropolis where the Perpigdog somehow fits in without being noticed. Finally, it vacations in Cow World, a grassy utopia ruled by cows, where it grazes, naps, and occasionally startles tourists. The Perpigdog also enjoys hiding in real-world places like backyards, wooded trails, and behind the local Dunkin’ Donuts.

What It Eats

The Perpigdog is an adventurous eater and will eat almost anything it can find. It enjoys half-eaten hot dogs, leftover chicken nuggets, cheddar Goldfish crackers (but only the extra-cheddar kind), cantaloupe rinds, and anything you accidentally dropped in your car and forgot about. However, its diet doesn’t stop at snacks. The Perpigdog has been known to eat dogs, pigs, turtles, and even people—although usually only the ones who are rude, noisy, or try to pet it without permission.

How It Moves

The Perpigdog moves in a way that scientists have described as “confusingly graceful.” Despite its strange mix of pig feet and human legs, it can sprint surprisingly fast in short bursts—especially if it hears someone opening a snack bag. It tends to gallop on all fours when excited, leap sideways when startled, and occasionally somersault for no apparent reason. Its signature move is a dramatic cartwheel-to-split combo that it often uses to enter a room or assert dominance. When it walks slowly, it sways its torso slightly, giving the impression of someone pretending to be sneaky while wearing socks on a slippery floor. The Perpigdog is also capable of climbing trees, rolling down hills on purpose, and doing a back tuck flip off a trampoline, swing set, or startled mailman. Despite its strange build, it moves with confidence and flair, often drawing applause from confused onlookers.

Fun Facts

• It has been banned from four petting zoos due to “unsettling vibes” and a habit of flipping through the goat pen uninvited.

• The Perpigdog can perform a flawless gymnastics floor routine and stick the landing every single time.

• It can do the splits with more grace and flexibility than Barbie herself.