Mermaid

Special Features

Mermaids have the upper body of a human and the lower body of a very stylish fish. Their shimmering tails are covered in scales that can change color depending on their mood. Some mermaids have tiny fins that stick out from their hips for extra flair, like aquatic accessories. Their hair is almost always perfectly wavy, even during hurricanes, which scientists still cannot explain.

Habitat

While many people believe mermaids only live in the sea, the truth is they can live on land too—especially if there’s a nice bathtub or kiddie pool nearby. They build underwater lounges out of coral and wear lost sunglasses, but on land they prefer tidepool-side huts with excellent Wi-Fi. They are often spotted near lighthouses, music festivals, or anywhere glitter is sold.

What It Eats

Mermaids are mostly pescatarian—eating lots of shrimp, seaweed, and the occasional sea-cucumber smoothie (not made from actual cucumbers). They never eat fish, though, because fish are friends, not food. They also enjoy collecting human snacks like salt-and-vinegar chips, which they claim are "sea-flavored."

How It Moves

In water, mermaids swim with dazzling grace, flipping and twirling like underwater gymnasts. On land, movement is more… complicated. They tend to hop, wiggle, or borrow a skateboard. Their favorite method? Riding around in shopping carts, especially in parking lots near beach souvenir shops. They convince beach-goers (especially the males) to push them around in shopping carts and buy them food and souvenirs.

Fun Facts

Mermaids aren’t born—they grow under the ocean like magical sea carrots. One day, a bubble pops and ta-da! there’s a baby mermaid.
They can speak over 27 dolphin dialects and one type of crab whisper.
The first mermaid to try coffee stayed awake for 6 days and wrote 14 songs about seafoam.
Mermaids invented waterproof glitter, and the world has never been the same.

From Myth to Non-Fiction

Mermaids have forever been a topic of mythical wonder. That is, until 2025. The first mermaid was discovered in 2025 completely by accident when a curious girl named Briella was collecting seashells on the beach. Briella was in the middle of a heated argument with a crab over who rightfully owned a perfectly spiraled shell when she spotted something fishy (literally) out of the corner of her eye. “It’s mine!” she told the crab. “I saw it first!” But the crab scuttled off in a huff, mumbling something rude in Crab-language. That’s when Briella noticed a tail flopping behind a nearby rock. At first, she thought it was a really fancy beach towel, but when it flipped water at her and said, “Hey, do you mind? I’m exfoliating,” Briella realized she had just discovered the world’s first mermaid. She named her Sandy, shared her juice box, and the two have been pen pals ever since—though it’s tough because underwater mail gets soggy.

Just like humans, mermaids are unique in their appearance (hair color and texture, skin tone, height, etc.)

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