The Bluetooth Umbrella™

“Never wonder if it’s raining… while standing in the rain.”

It features:

• A notification that says: “Your umbrella is wet!” (Just in case you missed the water hitting your face.)

• A weather alert that says: “It’s raining.” (Usually while you are already drenched.)

• Occasional battery life updates that make you feel like your umbrella is judging your social media screen time.

Bluetooth range: 16 feet

Water detection accuracy: 100% (once soaked)

History

The Bluetooth Umbrella was invented in 2023 by Darren Blip, a software engineer who once got caught in the rain and blamed technology instead of clouds. Inspired by smart fridges, smart mirrors, and that one toaster that tweets, Darren decided it was time umbrellas got smart, too—because apparently staying dry isn’t high-tech enough.

The first prototype could only scream, “RAIN! RAIN!” when moisture touched it. This was replaced with polite push notifications after Darren’s neighbors filed a noise complaint.

Early feedback included:

• “Cool, but… can’t I just look outside?”

• “My umbrella texted me to say it was wet. I was holding it at the time.”

Despite the confusion, the Bluetooth Umbrella™ became a hit with tech enthusiasts, overprotective parents, and people who just enjoy getting alerts for things they can see with their eyes.

Reviews

★★★★★

John F. – I'm confused

⭐️

“But...why?”

Julia B. – Weird..but my husband needs it

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Obviously, this isn't necessary. You can just look outside. But my husband is oblivious, always looking at his phone. If he didn't have this, he wouldn't know it was raining, even if he was getting wet.”

Samuel S. – This is ridiculous

⭐️

“What's next, a pair of sunglasses that tell you it's sunny out when you put them on? Why is this even a thing”

Karen K. – What about us??

⭐️

“I like the umbrella, but I can't believe another product was made only for right-handed umbrella users. When will you make a left-handed version? Nobody considers our needs!”